Crossdancing
by TheAmazingCellist
Summary: Sirius is a cross-dresser, who would have guessed. LilyxJames, lonely Peter, and RemusxFem!sirius


If you asked James Potter what he though of Peter's and Remus' dancing skills, he would tell you that they were the worst, most blind, bumbling baboons he had ever met in his life. But that would also be while he was nursing several broken toes from being stomped on by Peter. Now, we'll get to the story, and you can see exactly why James called his friends blind, bumbling baboons.

James sighed, flinging himself backwards on his bed.

"I give up!" He said, covering his eyes with his arm,

"I said I was sorry, jeez." Peter mumbled from his current seat on the floor,

"Tell that to my broken toes!!!" James said rudely, and sat up, pulling his shoes then socks off slowly, wincing every so often as he did so. And sure enough, several of the toes on his feet were purpling and swelling. He cursed and glared at Peter, then shot his glare to the others who were currently trying to stifle laughter.

"Better take that to Madam Pomfrey James." Sirius said,

"It looks serious!!" He laughed until a hand smacked the back of his head. He turned to glare at Remus, the boy only smirked.

"Pay attention, I want to get this right and you aren't helping right now."

"Well, of course _my dear_ whatever you say!" And Sirius sighed, watching as Remus pressed a button on the old record player and the waltz started back up. James grinned at the two,

"Well, Pete and I are off. I gotta see Pomfrey, and, it's dinner. You coming?"

"Nope." Remus said, sighing. "I want to get this right so I don't look like a fool at the dance."

"You don't even have a date yet!" James cried in exasperation, Remus lifted a brow at his friend,

"Certainly you don't mean that? Of course I have a date. A beautiful, wonderful, perfect date." Remus said, and shrugged. But James practically pounced on Remus, demanding who the girl was, and Remus shrugged again

"You'll see. Go to dinner James, we'll be down soon enough." James obeyed, clearly sulking as he was led, limping, to the infirmary. Sirius smirked at his boyfriend,

"Really now? Beautiful, wonderful, _and_ perfect?" He placed a hand over his heart in a dramatic gesture, "I don't know if I can take the compliment." Remus rolled his eyes,

"Shush. You talk too much." He muttered, leaning forwards and pressing his lips to Sirius'. "And Sirius, just so you know, I know how to dance." Sirius pulled back in outrage,

"So, I practically got my feet broken, and you know how to dance?"

"That's about right. It's interesting though, you do make a good female partner." Sirius huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, turning away from Remus. Remus chuckled, and gently wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist, kissing the back of the other's neck.

"Don't be mad darling. You're a beautiful dancer." Remus chuckled slightly and moved away, sitting on the edge of his bed, with a blushing Sirius on his lap. Sirius smiled, turning so that he was facing Remus, arms wrapping gently around the other's neck. Remus smiled at his boyfriend, kissing the tip of his nose, then his lips.

~time skip~

"Sirius, I'm going down with James and Peter, I'll meet you down there, okay?" Remus called through the bathroom door,

"Okay!" He heard called from the other side, chuckling when he heard a loud crash and curse.

"Come on Remus! What's Sirius doing?"

"Oh, I don't think he's coming." Remus said pensively. James just sighed,

"Well come on! You might not have a date, but I do!" Remus chuckled at his friend. The marauders minus Sirius walked quickly out of the portrait hole and made their way to the courtyard. Fairy lights hung, magically suspended in the air across the courtyard, refreshments were on tables at the far end of the courtyard, well out of the way of the dancers. Remus stood waiting for his date at the foot of the stairs, watching as James linked arms with a pretty girl and swept her onto the dance floor. Remus watched poor Peter stand very lonely by the drinks, watching the other dancers with longing, Remus turned his gaze to James, who was dancing very intimately with his partner. To Remus it looked more like having sex on the dance floor, but who was he to judge? A hand touched his shoulder and made him jump. He turned and saw a woman gazing at him, a smile on her red-tinted lips. Her black hair fell in silken tumbles well past her waist, her silver eyes were wide and innocent, she was wearing a bluish silver shimmering cocktail dress, and a pair of silver stiletto heels. Remus felt like his eyes were going to pop out of his head,

"_Sirius?!"_ He demanded, the girl chuckled and nodded, "What did you do to yourself man?"

"It was a potion, I have the antidote in our room, don't worry! But remember." She chuckled sweetly, "I'm a girl!" Remus smirked and bowed, holding out his arm, eyes locked with the silver orbs that were captivating him. Sirius took the arm with a grin, and was shocked as he was led flawlessly onto the dance floor and immediately into the dance.

"You weren't joking, you really can dance!" Sirius said, shocked, Remus chuckled,

"Of course I can dance darling, I'd be a fool if I couldn't." Sirius giggled and nodded, smiling at his boyfriend. They spun, and as Remus was passing James, he heard a barely whispered,

"Hot date!" Before they were separated by a mass of bodies once again. Remus smiled and tightened his hold on Sirius, pulling the other close, their chests flush, eyes locked, foreheads pressed together. Sirius was blushing and grinning, eyes shining in delight as he was spun and lifted in the air. Remus glanced down then back up at Sirius,

"How the fuck are you walking in those?" He demanded, Sirius smirked and leaned forward, mouth close to Remus' ear,

"Practice." Remus laughed,

"Of course." The song was drawing to a close, and as the last notes drew out, Remus spread his hand on Sirius' lower back and tipped, their mouths connecting in a hot kiss, Sirius moaned, arms wrapped tightly around Remus' neck. But it was then that everything began going wrong. As Remus was straightening out of the dip, someone knocked into him, causing him to lose his balance and stumble, sending the both of them tumbling to the ground. In an attempt to catch himself, Sirius reached up and grabbed the closest thing, which happened to be a girl's skirt, it fell down, along with her panties and she tripped into her date who fell backwards, knocking over another girl and her date while his date slapped Sirius across the cheek, it was rather like a domino effect. The only one unaffected being Peter, who was the only boy in school without a date that had even bothered showing up to the dance. James was buried beneath several girls, all of which were screaming in rage, fighting with each other, one had her dress ripped; another had her blouse hanging open scandalously far. Remus sighed as he gazed at the mess that he had started, looking at Sirius who was clutching a very red cheek and laughing uncontrollably, Remus smirked and pulled his date to his feet. Grasping Sirius' hand Remus led them away from the chaos. Once they entered their dorms, Sirius fell on his bed, laughing, Remus sat on his own, grinning and chuckling, Sirius, after a while of struggling to stop laughing, he stood easily and pressed a kiss to Remus' cheek, smiling and saying,

"Truly, you are a divine dancer." And with that he went into the bathroom to change. When he came out he was back to his male self, with shoulder length hair and no boobs.

"So, did you enjoy your evening of cross-dancing?" Remus asked from where he lay on his bed, Sirius chuckled,

"I loved it." He walked over and sat on the edge of Remus' bed and kissed the man, before pulling back and muttering, "Like I said, divine."


End file.
